Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Perhaps it's the devil, come to collect my soul

After all, he's been leaving me in this remote corner of hell for 3 days now.

Advanced warning: This s a rant post filled with Sam-angst. I'm not very happy right now.

July 31st had me at the fair with Vera and Cheese[My stepsister who I haven't named on here but I'm getting lazy]. It was a lot of fun. We all had a blast riding the rides together. Cheese and I rode the zipper for my second year in a row, and it took a few hours for my stomach to leave from where it was cowering behind my heart in my chest.

And then, this past weekend, my Uncle came into town. Since I was in perfect health this time around, I found him much more funny then last time. He was very fun to be around, and I enjoyed spending time with him. He also gave me a hat, which is epic and I need an excuse to wear it =D The guy who he was driving with also brought his dot, a beautiful, sweet tempered, pregnant rottweiler[IDK how to spell it]. She was awesome, and we got along well. I think I would have kept the dog if I could xD

Then on Sunday there was Cheese's sweet 16. I admittedly had the prettiest and least whorey dress there. Which, you know, 10,000 points for me, right? Cheese wore white dress pants, a white long sleeved dress shirt, and a shiny aqua-blue vest. Here theme was Mamie Beach, and the whole thing came out perfect. She had an epic cake, and Tootie[Stepmom] and I set up some pretty frigging awesome centerpieces. And Cheese had a fun time, so that's all that matters.

Monday I went over to Vera's house and we went swimming and talked. I had a great time, as usual. Unfrtunately, our lack of bad-things-happening-right-after-I-visit-her streak came to an end. I got into the car with my dad to go home, and he let me know something that has made me in a bit of a depressed state for the past few days. He is going to kick my sister and her boyfriend out if they don't get jobs within a week from today[that's good news, actually]. The bad news is, my stepmom has the same time limit in which to shape up her act in his opinion, or he will be kicking her out as well.

Yeah. That hit me like a ton of bricks. I don't really know what to do. I told dad to do what he needs to do. In two years time, I'll be leaving anyway. Hopefully into an apartment with Vera near where we'll both be going to college. I don't want dad to have to be unhappy because he thinks I need a mother figure in the house. I just... I don't want Tootie and Cheese to have to leave. They've been here four years now, and...

Well, fuck it, I'd be the biggest liar on the face of the planet if I said that I don't love them. I love them both very much. They're like family to me. Real, good, sweet family. And if dad kicks them out... I really liked not being an only child, you know? But I know dad is trying to make the call that he thinks is best for both of it. So I'm going to have to tighten my proverbial jock strap and keep moving on, won't I?

Sigh...

Anyway, I went out to spend the day with Vera yesterday as well. We had fun, talked a lot as always, purposely tried to weird each other out. I really don't know what I'd do without Vera in my life. I really love her like my sister/mother. She's the best friend I could have ever gotten. And she's going to college soon, and I wish I was old enough to follow her just because I don't want there to be so much distance between us. Oh well, we can make it work. We've gone for months without seeing each other before, hopefully this can at least involve more skyping.

I'm still going to miss her...

It looks like I'm going to be missing a lot of people real soon...

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